Positive self esteem is only a few words away

Simple everyday thoughts can lead to a greater sense of well-being.

The original idea for this post came from Leslie Goldman at ivillage.com. In her article, she was writing to 30 somethings. I think her concept needs to be applied to all women.

Somewhere around the end of the 1960s society seemed to move from optimism to pessimism. Now instead of the “Leave it to Beaver” world we lived in a “Sammie and Rosie Get Laid” land of pessimism and urban decay.

And all that negativity has had a correspondingly negative impact on our psyche. We tend to measure ourselves against unreasonable images and ideals only designed to ensure continued angst. But what if we focused on the positive and not the negative? What if we found reasons to smile instead of criticize? Think about it, if the message in a simple fortune cookie can bring a smile to your face –“The sun always shines after a downpour” – imagine what a whole month full of positive sayings can do for your self-esteem! According to Rosie Molinary author of “Beautiful You: A Daily Guide to Radical Self-Acceptance”, changing our mindset begins by changing our language.

It all begins in the simplest of ways. Just think, the next time you’re at a party and someone asks you if you’re dating, instead of responding with the negative – “Only losers! I guess I don’t attract the good guys”, think of the positive “No one that deserves me.” Or when a friend comments on how hot you look in your new mini skirt, instead of the knee-jerk “Thank you Spanx”, think “Thank you and you look great too.”

Spreading the love also brings it home to you. If you’ve ever had a random woman on the street admire your sundress or ask where you get your hair styled, you know the power of an unsolicited female compliment. The next time you see something you like, say so. Reach out to a girlfriend, your mom or sister and compliment them on your favourite personality quirk or quality that you admire about them. They’ll feel better and so will you. Positivism begets positivism. Doing good things for others and yourself sets up a positive cycle of self affirmation.

You know that pricey perfume sitting on your vanity that you only use for ‘special occasions’? Or the really hot high heels that you save for weddings only? Or the chichi sports bra that still has the tags on it because you want to make it below 145 pounds before you wear it? Use ‘em now!